Top Signs You're At A Bad Motel

The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died.
The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
The "magic fingers vibration" is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic.
There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow
The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.
You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
The Only TV station you can get is a porno channel with roseanne on it.
The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter.