Blind People Jokes Part 9

A blind businessman was traveling for work and had to navigate the security checkpoint at a massive international airport. He walked up to the TSA line with his folded white cane in one hand and his carry-on suitcase in the other. When he reached the front of the line, the security officer asked him to place all metal objects, his belt, shoes, and white cane onto the conveyor belt to pass through the X-ray machine. The blind man folded his cane, placed it in a plastic bin, and stepped up to the body scanner scanner entrance. The officer instructed him, 'Sir, please step into the machine, raise both arms above your head, and hold still for three seconds.' The blind man stepped inside, raised his hands, and waited. After five seconds, the machine chimed, and the officer said, 'All clear! You can step out.' The blind man stepped out and said, 'Thanks! Did I pass, or am I invisible now?'

A blind man hailed a taxi outside a train station to get to his hotel across town. He opened the passenger door, slid into the backseat, and gave the address to the cab driver. The driver pulled out into heavy downtown traffic, swerving between lanes and accelerating aggressively. As they drove, the taxi driver kept complaining about the terrible traffic, shouting at other drivers out the window, and slamming on the brakes at every intersection. The ride was so bumpy and erratic that the blind man had to hold onto the door handle with both hands to keep from sliding across the seat. Finally, they arrived at the hotel curb. The driver turned around and said, 'That'll be twenty-five dollars, pal. Sorry about the rough ride—traffic makes me crazy!' The blind man handed him a thirty-dollar bill and said, 'Keep the change! Honestly, it was a delight—for the first time in my life, I was glad I couldn't see what was coming!'

A blind commuter was standing on a busy train platform during evening rush hour, waiting for the 5:15 express train back to his suburban town. The platform was packed with hundreds of commuters standing shoulder-to-shoulder near the yellow tactile warning strip on the edge of the track. As the train approached, the loudspeaker chimed and announced, 'Now arriving on Track 2: The 5:15 Express.' The train pulled in with a loud squeal of brakes, and the crowd began pushing forward to get through the opening doors. In the chaos, the blind man was swept along by the crowd and stepped onto the train car. He found a seat, sat down, and listened as the doors closed. A few minutes later, the conductor walked down the aisle checking tickets. The blind man handed over his monthly pass. The conductor punched it and said, 'Sir, this pass is for the Westbound line... this train is the non-stop Express to Chicago, three hundred miles away!' The blind man grinned and said, 'Well, I guess I'm taking a vacation!'

A blind couple decided to celebrate their silver wedding anniversary by booking a seven-day tropical ocean cruise. They spent their days relaxing on the upper deck, enjoying the warm sea breeze, listening to live steel-drum music, and smelling the fresh ocean air. One afternoon while walking along the promenade deck, the husband stepped toward what he thought was a wooden railing overlooking the ocean. However, he accidentally walked straight through an open doorway leading into the ship's luxury indoor spa and stepped into a large warm jacuzzi filled with bubbles. He fell into the water with a massive splash, fully clothed in his polo shirt and shorts. His wife rushed over, heard the splashing, and yelled, 'Arthur! Are you in the ocean?' Arthur wiped the warm soapy water from his face, sat back on the jacuzzi bench, and shouted back, 'No, dear! But the ocean is surprisingly warm and smells like lavender today!'