Dirty One Liners
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Q But Do You Know
Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q Did You Hear About
Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.
Q What Do Lifesavers Do
Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
A. Come in eight flavors.
Q What Do Cow Pies
Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q How Can You Tell
Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q Whats Six Inches Long
Q. What's six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.
Q What Is The Difference
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q What Is The Difference
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
Q What Is The New
Q. What is the new gay website address?
A. c : enter ### (see colon enter pound pound pound).
Q What Is The New
Q. What is the new O.J. website address?
A. slash slash backslash escape.
Q What Do Gay Men
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.
Q Whats Got Four Legs
Q. What's got four legs and one arm?
A. A Rottweiler.
Q How Can You Tell
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
A. When you open her legs the lights go on.
Q When Does A Cub
Q. When does a cub become a boy scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie.
Q How Does A Scotsman
Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.
Q Did You Hear About
Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A. He was half nuts!!!
Q What Do You Call
Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.
Q Which Sexual Position Produces
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q How Do You Embarrass
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q What Did The Cannibal
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q How Can You Tell
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q What Do You Call
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q Whats The Difference Between
Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q How Is A Woman
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q What Does A Woman
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q How Are Tornadoes And
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.
Q Why Doesnt Mexico Have
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q Whats The Difference Between
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
Q What Do You Call
Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters
Q Why Do Men Name
Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.
Q What Is The Difference
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q Why Do Women Have
Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q Why Do Only 30
Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.
Q What Is The New
Q: What is the new gay website address?
A: c : enter # # #
Q: Why do men like big tits and tight pussy?
A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.
Q What Is The Difference
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.
Q Why Dont Women Have
Q: Why don't women have any brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
Q What Two Things In
Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q What Is The Difference
Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A: A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up your bush.
Q Why Cant Miss Piggy
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Q Why Did The Bald
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: So he could run his fingers through his hair.
Q Whats The Difference Between
Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
Q What Do Elephants Use
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
Q Where Does An Irish
Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
Q Did You Hear About
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
Q What Would You Call
Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.
Q What Does It Mean
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They're hiring.
Q Why Arent There Any
Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.
Q Did You Hear About
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying, "Yo".
Q What Do You Call
Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.
Q Why Do Drivers Education
Q: Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q Whats The Difference Between
Q: What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Q How Do You Get
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say fuck?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q Whats The Cuban National
Q: What's the Cuban national anthem?
A: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Q Whats The Difference Between
Q: What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..." A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Q What Is The Quickest
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
Q How Do You Know
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Q What Do You Get
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q Are Birth Control Pills
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.
Q What Did One Saggy
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.
Q Why Dont Bunnies Make
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q What Do You Get
Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.
Q Why Is Being In
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q What Do You Call
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q What Has A Whole
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.