Dumb Blonde Collection 5

There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him "Make sure not to knock the headphones off my head". So the barber was sure not to. The next time, the blonde said the same thing "Do not knock the headphones off my head". The barber again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again "Don't knock the headphones off my head", this time though, the barber accidentally knocked them off. As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde dropped to the floor unconcious. The barber picked up the headphones and listened, and this is what it said "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...."

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)." She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T." The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T." The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?" The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears? "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The son-of-a-bitch called back."

There is this blonde in the middle of a parking lot rowing a boat. This other blonde drives by and sees this blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a parking lot. So she stops her car gets out and yells, "IF I COULD SWIM, I WOULD SIM OVER THERE AND DROWN YOU. YOU GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NAME!!"

Two blondes were building a house. one saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into. "Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?" "Well, when i pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, i nail it it. If it is facing away from the House, it is defective and i throw it away." "You idiot, those nails aren't defective, they are for the other side of the house."

A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.

Three dumb blondes were shipwrecked on a desert island. They came across a magic lamp and a genie came out. The genie said that he would grant them each a wish.The first blonde asked to be made smart, the genie turned her into a brunette and she swam off the island. The second blonde asked to be even more smarter, so the genie turned her red hair and she built a boat and sailed off the island. The third blonde asked to be made the smartest, so the genie turned her into a man and he walked onto the bridge, and off the island.

A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road. She stops to ask what's wrong. The owner of the broken Porsche said, "I just had a look under the hood, well, while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine." The other said, "Oh, don't wory, I have a spare one in the back."

Two blonde roommates went shopping one day. On the way, one blonde told the other that she had forgotten to switch off the iron. The second blonde turned to her friend and very cooly assured her that the house would not catch fire as she had left the tap running.

There were two brunettes in the front of a truck, and three blonds in the back. They rolled off a cliff into the ocean. The brunettes survived, but the blonds died. Why? They couldn't get the tailgate open.

Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure that sounds great!" said Julie. "Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man. "Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked. "Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage." The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife. "Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied. About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door."I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie. "Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."