Funny Lists Collection 30

1. When the elevator doors close, exclaim loudly "Don't be alarmed folks, the doors will open again shortly". 2. Press all of the buttons in the elevator when you get out - especially when other people are still in it. 3. Introduce your imaginary friend. And have a conversation with them. 4. Stand at the front of the elevator, facing the back. [If you are the first person in the elevator to do this, others will probably follow your lead] 5. Exclaim to all in the lift "Oh, no! It's started raining!" then open your umbrella. 6. Ask everyone what their e-mail addresses are then tell them there's too many dot's in them.

1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch 2. Who Shat in the Hat? 3. Horton Hires a Ho 4. Fox in Detox 5. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo--Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. The Cat in the Blender 11. Are You My Proctologist? 12. Yentl the Lentil 13. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket 14. Aunts in My Pants 15. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff! 16. Horton Fakes an Orgasm 17. The Grinch's Ten Inches

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside. 2. Drive through backwards. 3. Belch your order. 4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume. 5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac. 6. Walk through. 7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you. 8. Repeat everything the order-taker says. 9. Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours. 10. Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please." 11. In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food. 12. When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they'll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells. 13. Drive through with a carload of naked people. 14. Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion. 15. Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food. 16. Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice. 17. One word: Flatulence! 18. Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk. 19. If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to "check out the babe". 20. Change a flat tire in the drive-thru lane.

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner. 2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows. 3) MANAGING BY POST-ITS Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-Its while you are talking. 4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. 5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes. 6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them. They will always have something to talk about. 7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. 8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they have more work to do. 9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on. 10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your carreer anymore. 11) MANAGING BY STUDYING Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice. 12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance. 13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are. 14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes. 15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure. 16) BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS ) This management style is ATRASACWOC ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication ). 17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms. 18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize. 19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all. 20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is too low to remember.