It Jokes Tech Support And Helpdesk

A veteran IT helpdesk agent received a call from an extremely frustrated user who reported that her brand-new office computer was completely dead. She claimed she had been pushing the power button for over twenty minutes, but neither the screen nor the computer tower showed any signs of life. The helpdesk agent began walking her through standard Tier 1 troubleshooting steps. "Is the power cable plugged securely into the back of the tower?" he asked. "Yes, I checked that twice," she replied. "Is the power cable plugged firmly into the wall outlet?" "I can't really see behind the desk," she said, "it's way too dark down here." "Can you turn on your office overhead light or use a flashlight?" the agent suggested. "No, I can't turn on the lights," the user explained with a sigh. "Our whole building lost power ten minutes ago during the thunderstorm, so all the electrical outlets are off." The helpdesk agent paused, took a deep breath, and said, "Alright, I know how to fix this. Pack up your computer, put it back in its original box, and take it back to the store." "Is it broken?" she asked. "No," the agent replied, "the store manager will tell you that you're too unqualified to own electricity."

An executive VP called the internal IT helpdesk in an absolute rage. "My brand-new wireless mouse is completely defective!" he screamed into the phone. "I was in the middle of preparing a critical board presentation, and suddenly the cursor stopped moving across the screen! I want a technician in my office right now!" A junior helpdesk tech was dispatched immediately to the VP's corner office on the top floor. He walked in to find the executive pacing angrily while pointing at his dual-monitor workstation setup. The technician approached the desk, picked up the wireless mouse, flipped it over, and noticed that the optical LED sensor light was completely off. He opened the battery compartment door on the bottom of the mouse and saw two standard AA batteries sitting inside. "Sir, it looks like the batteries just ran out of charge," the technician said politely. The VP stared at the technician with total bewilderment and shouted, "What do you mean batteries?! It's a WIRELESS mouse! It gets its power out of the air from the Wi-Fi! That's what WIRELESS means!" The technician quietly took two fresh AA batteries out of his pocket, inserted them into the mouse, flipped the switch back on, and watched the cursor glide smoothly across the screen while the VP watched in utter disbelief as if magic had just occurred.

Back in the late 1990s, an IT desktop support technician took a support call from an elderly office clerk who called to complain that the built-in cup holder on her desktop computer tower had snapped off when she set her large mug of coffee on it. The technician was thoroughly confused. "Ma'am, desktop computers don't come equipped with built-in cup holders," he explained. "Of course it has one!" she insisted loudly. "You push the small round button on the front panel, a plastic tray slides out with a circular groove in the middle that holds my coffee cup perfectly! But today I used a heavier ceramic mug, and the tray broke right off!" The technician closed his eyes, rubbed his forehead, and realized she was talking about the motorized CD-ROM drive tray. He drove over to her office, replaced the broken CD-ROM drive, and placed a $2 plastic sticky-backed coffee coaster directly on the desk next to the monitor, writing a small label on it: "COFFEE GOES HERE. DO NOT INSERT INTO COMPUTER."

A software support desk received a ticket from a remote user stating that the software installation wizard was stuck on screen step 2 and refused to proceed. The ticket description read: "The screen says 'Press Any Key to Continue', but I cannot find the 'Any' key anywhere on my keyboard." Thinking it was a joke, the support technician called the user directly. To his surprise, the user was completely serious and sounded deeply stressed. "I've looked everywhere!" the user complained over the phone. "I see the Enter key, the Shift key, the Control key, Spacebar, and Alt... but there is no key labeled 'ANY'! Is this a special custom keyboard I need to order from corporate?" The technician patiently explained over the speakerphone, "Sir, 'any key' means you can literally press whatever button you want on the physical keyboard. You can press the Spacebar, the letter A, or the Enter key." There was a long silence on the line. Then the user asked hesitantly, "So... if I press the letter 'K', will it work?" "Yes," the tech replied. "What about the number '5'?" "Yes, that works too." "What about the Shift key?" "Sir, just hit the spacebar!" A loud click was heard on the keyboard, followed by a gasp of amazement: "Wow, that's amazing technology! You guys in IT are true geniuses!"