Military Jokes Collection 2

One private asked another: "How did you manage to get arrested by MPs, Mac?" "Well, I was out very late on a binge with a friend and he advised me to take off my uniform and shoes when I got to the barracks, and sneak up the stairs quietly so that if the sergeant sees me he may think I was just visiting the head." "So what?" "Well, when I got upstairs I found I was on top of a bus without any clothes on."

The little brother of an Army radar operator asked: "Jim, tell me how does a radar work?" "The radar transmitter emits brief impulses of electromagnetic waves which are reflected from the target and received by a special receiver. Since the speed at which electromagnetic waves propagate is exactly known and the time they take to travel to the target and back can be determined with a great degree of accuracy it is possible to determine the range to the target as well as the direction to it." His brother pondered a moment, then said: "As long as you don't know, Jim, why don't you just say so?"

"You've got a touch of pneumonia," said the medical officer after examining the new enlistee. "Are you sure, sir?" queried one worried man. "I have known people in civvy street to be told they have pneumonia but then to die of something quite different." "You are not in civil life, Samson. You're in the Army!" thundered the medical officer. "And if you get treated in the Army for pneumonia, you die of pneumonia."

It was announced today that Canada is now prepared to help the United States in its war against terrorism. They have promised to commit 2 of their largest battleships, 6,000 armed troops, and 60 fighter jets. However, after the exchange rate, that comes down to a canoe, 2 Mounties, and a flying squirrel.