Miscellaneous Ethnic Jokes Collection 1

Q. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? A. They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: What is the best Iraqi job? A: Foreign Ambassador. Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A. You only have to teach them to take off. Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo? A. B-52...F-16...B-2. Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck.

Q: Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey? A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.

A white man, a black man and an Asian man were stranded on an island far away from home. They found a lamp in the island which happens to be a magic lamp with a genie inside. The genie gives them 1 wish each. The white man wished to be home with his family, the genie granted him that wish. The black man wishes to be home with his family also, and the genie granted him his wish. The asian man was the only person left on an island with 1 wish still remaining. He felt so lonely on the island so he wished for the white man and the black man to return and they were stranded on the island forever.

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence. He pulls him out and says, "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with him, "No, noooo, Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The border patrol agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him, and says "OK, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence." The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The three words are: green, pink and yellow. Now use them in one sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, OK. The phone, it went green, green, green... I pink it up, and sez yellow?"

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus could have been Black: 1. He called everyone "brother" 2. He liked Gospel 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Fathers business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Italian: 1. He talked with his hands. 2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been a Californian: 1. He never cut his hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus could have been Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus could have been a woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.. 3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead. You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

Four surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on: The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered," The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color-coded," The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." But the fourth surgeon, Dr. Morris Fishbein, shuts them all up when he observes: "The French are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass are interchangeable.

There are 3 guys. A jew, mexican, and a black man. These 3 guys were in the middle of nowhere and were stranded with no way of transportation to get to town. Well, they thought of this idea to have one of them lay down in the middle of the road and figured a car would stop and they would have a ride. So, the jew went and laid in the road. A car came and thump thump, ran him right over. Ah man, it didn't work, but its gotta. You try it. The mexican went out on the road and a car came and thump thump, ran him right over. Dangn't, this is such a good idea, they gotta stop for a black man. So the black man went out on the road and car came. Thump thump, errrrrt, reerrrrrr thump thump, thump thump, thump thump.