Naughty Johnny Jokes Collection 2

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?" The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand. The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual innuendo, looks for another student to ask. Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says, "Yes, Johnny?" "Miss Figpot, it's means lovely." Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?" "Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mommy say, 'That's lovely'. Then Daddy said, 'Yep, it's in different.'"

"Happy 6th Birthday, Johnny!" a banner said that was hanging in Johnny's living room. "Yay me!" he thought. Then he went to his mom, who was about to get in the shower. "Mommy, can I take a shower with you? It is my birthday." "Well, ok. But don't look up or down." she replied. In the shower, Johnny looked down. "Mommy, what's that?" "That's...um...my bush." Then he looked up. "Mommy, what are those?" "Those are...um...my flashlights." "ok." Then later on, his dad was about to get in the shower. "Daddy, can I shower with you? It is my birthday." "I guess so but only today. And don't look down." he answered. In the shower, Johnny looked down. "Daddy, what's that?" "That is my...um...snake." "Oh, I have one too!" "Yeah, that's right." his dad answered. That night, Johnny asked his parents: "Can I sleep with you tonight? It is my birthday and there's a monster under my bed." "Well...only tonight because it's your birthday." his dad answered. "And don't look under the covers, ok Johnny?" "Ok." So they got into bed, and Johnny looked under the covers. Suddenly, he yelled "Mommy! Quick, turn on your flashlights! Daddy's snake is going through your bushes!"

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

As the door is opened, the travelling salesmans shocked to see a little lad, stood in a silk dressing gown, cigar in one hand, glass of whiskey in the other! Looking further into the house, a prostitute is laying spent across the couch! "Er, hello young man" he manages to stammer, "Is your mommy or daddy home?" Little Johnny looks at him increduously, "Does it fucking look like it?"

It was almost time for the bell to ring. Johnny's teacher had asked him to stay after class because she was going to have a conference with his parents about his sexual behavior in class. She had promised him that she would give him whatever he wanted. Once the bell had ranged and both Johnny and his teacher were alone he said "Take off your clothes." Reluctantly his teacher replied " No." " But you said you'd give me whatever I wanted." " Alright then.", so Johnny's teacher shed her clothes. " Get on the desk", replied Johnny " No, now that's enought Johnny!" " But...but you said you would give me whatever I wanted." " Fine, just this one last time okay?" " Okay." So Johnny got on top of his teacher and got busy. Just then his parents walked in. Both his parents exclaimed at the same time " JOHNNY HARDER!" So he went harder. Then his little sister walked in and yelled "JOHNNY HARDER!" So again he went harder. Last but not least his grandfather walked in and screamed " JOHNNY HARDER!" Tired Johnny yelled back at his family, " I"M GOING AS HARD AS I CAN!!!"

One day Johnny is in class, and his teacher asignes him to make up a sentence and a word for the letter F. So the next day when the teacher asked him to read out his sentence and word he chose he replies with, the word I chose was FASENATE. And the teacher very amazed by his big word gave him a round of aplause and then she asked what the sentence was and he replied by sayin, "My sister has a red sweater whit nine buttons but her tits are so big she can only FASTENATE".

Little Johnny was in his nursery class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up- fireman, policeman,salesman... etc... Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My fathers an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes ,if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the alley with some screamin fag and take it up the ass." The teacher ,obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little Johnny aside to ask him,"Is that really true about your father?" "No," said Johnny, "he plays for the Boston Red Sox, but I was too embarassed to say".