Polish Jokes Collection 2

A police officer patrolling a quiet neighborhood street in Wroclaw late at night noticed a man on his hands and knees beneath a brightly lit street lamp. The man was meticulously scanning the pavement, feeling around in the grass near the curb. The officer pulled over, stepped out of his patrol car, and asked the man what he was looking for. The man wiped his forehead and replied that he had dropped his house keys and couldn't get inside. Being helpful, the police officer got down on his knees and assisted in searching the illuminated area for twenty minutes, but found nothing. Puzzled, the officer asked the man if he was absolutely sure he dropped them right under this specific streetlight. The man shook his head and pointed toward a dark alleyway fifty yards away, saying, "Oh no, I dropped them way over there in the dark." Astounded, the officer asked, "Then why on earth are we searching for them over here?" The man smiled logically and replied, "Because the light is so much better over here!"

The naval department in Gdynia was conducting tests on a brand new, state-of-the-art diesel submarine. The vessel was equipped with radar, advanced navigation, and heavy-duty steel plating designed to handle the high pressures of the Baltic Sea. On its maiden voyage, the submarine submerged smoothly to a depth of fifty meters. However, within five minutes of submerging, water began pouring into the main control room at an alarming rate. The captain quickly ordered an emergency surfacing maneuver, blowing the ballast tanks just in time to bring the vessel safely back to the harbor. An emergency board of inquiry was convened immediately to determine how a brand new submarine could leak so severely on its very first dive. After reviewing the blueprints and interviewing the crew, the chief inspector discovered the fatal design flaw. He asked the head engineer why there were massive screened windows installed along the sides of the hull. The engineer proudly responded, "So the crew could open them up and get some fresh sea breeze while underwater!"

A motorist was driving down a rural highway outside Lublin when he noticed red and blue lights flashing in his rearview mirror. He pulled over to the shoulder, rolled down his window, and waited for the highway patrol officer to approach. The officer walked up, took out his notepad, and said, "Sir, do you realize you were driving eighty miles per hour in a fifty-mile-per-hour zone?" The driver shook his head in disagreement and said, "Officer, that's completely impossible. I've only been driving for fifteen minutes, so how could I have gone eighty miles in an hour?" The officer stared at him in disbelief, took a deep breath, and explained that speed is measured in miles per hour regardless of how long you've been driving. The man thought about this explanation for a moment, adjusted his glasses, and replied, "Well, if you're measuring by the hour, you should come back in forty-five minutes to see if I actually make it eighty miles!"

A factory worker in Katowice walked into the breakroom holding a brand new stainless-steel vacuum thermos flask that he had purchased at the market that morning. His coworker noticed the shiny flask and asked him what kind of strange container it was. The man proudly explained, "This is a modern thermodynamic flask. Whatever you put inside it, it maintains the temperature perfectly. If you put something hot in it, it keeps it hot. If you put something cold in it, it keeps it cold!" The coworker marveled at the advanced technology and asked, "Wow, that sounds amazing! What do you have inside it today?" The owner of the thermos unscrewed the cap with a big smile and said, "I've got two cups of hot coffee and a scoop of vanilla ice cream!"