Polish Jokes Collection 6

A retired carpenter in Gliwice decided to take up a new hobby to pass the long winter months. He went to a local toy store and bought a massive, complex jigsaw puzzle containing two thousand pieces. He cleared off his dining room table, dumped all the pieces out of the box, and set to work assembling the picture. Day after day, he sat at the table for hours, carefully matching colors and fitting pieces together. Finally, after six exhausting months of intense concentration and effort, he placed the very final piece into the board to complete the image. Overjoyed by his accomplishment, he ran out to his front porch, knocked on his neighbor's door, and proudly dragged him inside to see the completed puzzle. He pointed at the finished picture and cheered, "Look at that! It only took me six months to finish this entire puzzle!" The neighbor looked at the box on the floor, puzzled by his excitement, and asked, "Is six months supposed to be fast for a puzzle?" The carpenter slapped his chest proudly and said, "Fast? It's incredible! The side of the box clearly says '3 to 5 Years'!"

Two pigeons were perched side by side on a telephone wire high above a busy intersection in Zabrze, watching the cars and pedestrians pass by below. It was a cold, rainy afternoon, and both birds were shivering against the wind. Suddenly, a brand-new, polished red convertible sports car pulled up to the traffic light directly beneath them. The driver had the top down despite the light drizzle, wearing a expensive leather jacket and sunglasses. The first pigeon looked down at the gleaming automobile, turned to his companion on the wire, and stroked his feathers with a mischievous grin. "Hey," the first pigeon cooed, "look at that beautiful red convertible right down there! What do you say we both fly down and drop a little souvenir right on the driver's front windshield?" The second pigeon looked down, then looked up at the grey clouds, shook his head, and replied, "Nah, not today my friend. I'm saving up for a down payment on a house!"

A shopper visiting a large modern shopping mall in Bielsko-Biala stepped onto a long upward escalator to reach the clothing department on the third floor. Halfway between the second and third floors, a sudden power surge caused the entire mall's electrical grid to fail, bringing the moving escalator to a complete and sudden stop. The shopper clutched the handrail in panic, looked up toward the third floor, then looked down toward the second floor, feeling completely stranded in mid-air. He looked at his watch, sat down on one of the metal steps, and waited patiently. Two hours later, power was finally restored, and the escalator started moving again, delivering him to the top. When he met his friend at the coffee shop later that afternoon, he complained bitterly about the outage, saying, "You won't believe what happened to me today! I was stuck on the escalator for two full hours because of that blackout!" His friend shook his head sympathetically and asked, "That sounds terrible! Why didn't you just walk up the rest of the steps?" The shopper blinked in surprise and said, "Walk? On an broken escalator? Do I look like a mountain climber to you?"

A farmer living on the outskirts of Olsztyn bought a fierce guard dog to protect his barn and tractor from local thieves. He tied the dog to a long iron chain near the front entrance of the barn and went to sleep feeling secure. In the middle of the night, a intruder snuck onto the farm property, crept past the barn, opened the tractor shed, and successfully hotwired the engine. Hearing the loud engine roar, the guard dog began barking hysterically and thrashing against his chain. The farmer woke up, grabbed a flashlight, ran out to the yard, and saw the thief speeding away down the driveway on his tractor. The farmer sprinted over to the guard dog, looked at the empty tractor shed, and began scolding the animal angrily. The dog looked up at the farmer, wagged his tail innocently, and whimpered, "Hey, don't yell at me! I barked as loud as I could to let you know the tractor was starting up fine!"