Neuropsychology Brain Function Jokes

A neuroscientist was demonstrating the fascinating cognitive functions of split-brain patients to a group of medical students during a clinical lecture. He projected a picture of an apple to the patient's right visual field and a picture of a key to the patient's left visual field. He then asked the patient to state out loud what he saw. 'An apple,' the patient said instantly. 'Very good,' said the neuroscientist. 'Now, reach under the table with your left hand and pick up the object you saw.' The patient's left hand reached down and grabbed the key. The doctor asked, 'Why did you pick up a key when you said apple?' The patient paused, looked at the key in his hand, and replied, 'Because my right brain thought my left brain was getting hungry!'

A neuroscientist and his colleague were discussing executive functioning over a cup of afternoon coffee in the university lounge. The first neuroscientist said, 'I've been working on a new research paper exploring how the prefrontal cortex regulates delayed gratification, impulse control, and long-term decision planning.' Just then, a tray of hot chocolate donuts was placed on the lounge table. Before the sentence was even finished, the neuroscientist reached out, snatched three donuts, and crammed one into his mouth. His colleague stared in disbelief. The first neuroscientist swallowed hard and said, 'As you can see, my amygdala clearly won the election today.'

A history professor was giving a lecture on famous case studies in neuropsychology, focusing on the extraordinary story of Phineas Gage, the 19th-century railroad foreman who survived a tamping iron driving completely through his frontal lobe. 'Before the accident,' the professor explained, 'Gage was known to be polite, hardworking, highly responsible, and soft-spoken. But after the injury, his personality changed dramatically. He became irreverent, impulsive, profane, and completely unpredictable!' A student in the front row raised her hand and asked, 'Professor, are you sure he suffered brain damage, or did he just start working in upper management?'

A man with auditory-visual synesthesia took his friend to a symphony orchestra performance. As the conductor raised his baton and the violins began to play a delicate melody, the synesthete closed his eyes in bliss. 'Ah, listen to that!' the synesthete exclaimed. 'What an exquisite shade of deep royal blue filled with shimmering silver sparkles!' A few minutes later, the trumpet section suddenly burst in with a loud, sharp brass crescendo. The synesthete jumped out of his seat, rubbing his eyes in pain. His friend asked, 'What happened?' The synesthete groaned, 'The trumpet player just threw a neon yellow triangle right into my retinas!'