Redneck Jokes Volume 6

Cleavis was working on refining his uncle's traditional copper moonshine still when he noticed that the cooling condensation process was taking far too long. He sourced a clean aluminum car radiator from an old sedan, hooked it up to a small solar-powered water pump, and routed the alcohol vapors through the core. The increased surface area cooled the distillate almost instantaneously, doubling his production output while keeping the flavor smooth and pure. Cleavis boasted that his mechanical engineering degree from the school of hard knocks was worth more than any fancy university diploma.

Living miles off the main power grid, Zeke wanted an automatic security light to illuminate his driveway whenever coyotes prowled near his chicken coop. He mounted a small ceiling fan motor upside down on top of a tall pine tree, attached homemade wooden blades, and wired it directly to a twelve-volt truck battery and an LED floodlight. Whenever the evening mountain breeze kicked up, the makeshift wind turbine generated more than enough electricity to keep the perimeter brightly lit all night long, completely scaring off predators and saving his prized hens.

When an intense ice storm buried the long gravel driveway leading up to his cabin, Vance realized his two-wheel-drive truck couldn't break through the heavy snow drifts. He unbolted the hood from a junked station wagon, welded a heavy steel angle iron across the back, and chained it to the front bumper of his tractor. Vance drove up and down the road, with the curved car hood scooping and throwing snow three feet into the ditches like a commercial plow. He managed to clear three miles of country roads, enabling his neighbors to reach the main highway safely.

Determined to relax in comfort during long fishing trips along the riverbank, Dale designed a custom steel bracket that inserted directly into his truck's square trailer hitch receiver. The dual-arm extension allowed him to suspend two full-size woven hammocks side by side right behind the tailgate, elevated safely above the damp ground and sharp rocks. Dale and his fishing buddy could sit back with their lines in the water, sheltered from the hot sun under the shade of the raised truck bed cover, enjoying the ultimate setup in mobile bank fishing.