Weird News Collection 5

BRAIN DEAD? - Havard University and McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass, have established a center to analyse tissue from the brains of people who die after having suffered from mental illnesses. However, physicians have encountered trouble getting mentally ill patients to agree to donate their brains. Asked one physician, "How do you ask someone to donate his brain to science who thinks their brain is under the control of radio waves from Mars?" JUDGE 'EM ON THEIR OWN STANDINGS - Steven L. Johnson, 40, sentenced to two years in prison in Brookings, SD, for drunk driving, explained to the judge, "I enjoyed drinking while driving. It's one of the most pleasurable habits I've had." - The title of Dr. June Stephenson's new book (Diemer/Smith, $20) on why crime is essentially a male pursuit, running $300 billion a year: Men Are Not Cost Effective. - According to Salt Lake City police, a 27 year old woman called 911 because her husband refused to have sex with her. By the time the police arrived, the nearly nude woman had begun beating her husband, who offered as his reason for lack of desire an exciting Utah Jazz basketball game on TV. - Coshocton, Ohio, high-school band director Charles Carothers, denying allegations that he sat two female students on his lap and fondled them: "I don't allow anyone to sit on my lap unless it's my daughter or my wife." - John Hurst, a disoriented man taken to a mental health center after he was discovered propping a ladder up to the second floor of the Kennedy family estate in Palm Beach: "I'm looking for my wife. I think she may be up there." **shit, why not? You know them Kennedy's!!** - John F. Thanos, asked his sentencing preference after he had been found guilty for a 1990 murder, had the choice, said the judge, of the death penalty or "life in prison without the possibility of parole." Thanos, failing to capture all the details of the second choice, replied that he'd take the "life in prison with the possibility of escape." The judge gave him the first one. PARENTS FROM HELL - Donna Clark, 26, and Paul Kramer, 31, faced various charges in Merchantville, NJ, when Clark allegedly grabbed $216 worth of film and walked out a drugstore. The couple's names were provided by their 6 year old son, who was in the store at the time but who was forgotten by the couple as they were making their get-away. - According to police in Knoxville, Tenn, Bobby Rose, 36, trying to avoid arrest for a traffic violation, threw his 2 year old child at the feet of the officers to slow them down as he made his get-away. - Georgia state Rep. Henrietta Canty went on a hunger strike to protest the arrest of her son, who was jailed for failing to make court ordered child support payments. - Tammie Guthrie, 28, was indicted for manslaughter in Baton Rouge, La. Police said that she allowed her one year old to drown in a bath tub while whe was in an adjacent room having sex with a 15 year old boy. REAL WEIRD - Milwaukee mayoral candidate Gregory Gracz, president of the local firefighters union, was accused of having exposed himself to a young female firefighter in an incident at a convention. Gracz denied the charge, but Mellisa Fojtik staked her credibility on her knowledge that Gracz has a distinctive mole on his penis. Pojtik said also that one of Gracz's colleagues told her that they were "musketeers" - that he, Gracz, and others had "crossed penises" in a show of solidarity. MORE STUPID PEOPLE - David Thomas Soloman, 35, at the Clermont, Fla, police station to file charges against his wife for hitting him, allegedly became fixated on a bag of marijuana (confiscated in another case) on Detective Danny Cheatham's desk and, according to Cheatham, "literally begged me for it and stated he wouldn't tell anyone where he got it." Cheatham then set up a hidden microphone in another room, sold the drugs to Soloman there for six bucks and then arrested him. OH MOMMY!!??!! - Paul Arbitelle, 17, was charged with the attempted murder of his mother in Danbury, Conn. He threw a hatchet at her because she failed to properly toast the bagel for the sandwich she had made for him.  Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253

A PLATEFULL OF SMOG? - Scientists at the California Institute of Technology reported recently that the hydrocarbons and other particulates released when meat cooks accounts for one-fifth of the total particulates in the air in Los Angeles -- more than is accounted for by either gasoline of diesel engines. BAD MOVES - Tampa, Florida, school officials invited inmate Edward McIntyre, serving 90 years for kidnapping and assault, to a local high school to make an "inspirational speech" to students for Law Day. While he was there, he managed to escape through a restroom window. - Tommie Lee Jackson, 39, was charged in Santa Clara County, California, with sexual assault after he decided to force a 20 year old woman to fellate him. She defended herself with her teeth. On of Jackson's testicles is in custody (OUCH!!!) in a plastic bag in the police property room. Said Detective Don Bacon, "It's just another piece of evidence." Jackson said the sex was consensual and that the woman simply couldn't take criticism. - According to long-secret documents recently obtained by the Canadian Press news agency, police in Ottowa tried during the 1960's to identify every gay man in the providence and to prove their findings with a box they called the "fruit machine." Men were shown the box, containing erotic photos, and measurements were taken of each man's pupil size, palm sweat, and blood flow in order to tell if he was turned on. Files were opend on 8,200 men and 395 were eventually kicked out of government service. (Not a bad idea!!) - In a January issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, doctors in Australia reported on the puzzling case of a man who periodically spat up blood, but only on Saturday and Sunday nights. The doctors finally isolated the problem: The man is a harmonica player at a local club, and his technique is to use his tongue so vigorously that he ruptures blood vessels ("harmonica player's hemoptylsis"). - Responding to employee complaints, Kansas Bureau of Investigation supervisors forced agent Scott Teeslink, the KBI media spokesperson, to end his grooming practice of wearing women's underpants in his coat's breast pocket in place of the usual handkerchief. Teeslink said he engaged in the practice only because the underpants better matched his tie. DOES IT EVER END? - Edward L. Hennessy retired after 12 years as chief executive of the Allied-Signal conglomerate. Hennessy was so poorly respected that his departure caused the value of Allied-Signal stock to rise. In fact, the value of Hennessy's own stock in Allied-Signal grew by over $7 million -- just because investors believed the company would be better without him! - The Southern California Air Quality Management District reported that tree resin and sap pollute the air, accounting for as much as 250 tons a day of "vegetation hydrocarbon." - Eastern Airlines, out of business since declaring bankruptcy in January 1991, is continuing to make campaign contributions through its Political Action Committee, which still had about $50,000 to spend as of early May. - Nine year veteran Navy Petty Officer Francine Adams, out of work for two days in Virginia Beach, Virginia, with a concussion resulting from a fight with her boyfriend, was herself reprimanded for the fight. A Navy official said Adams has repeatedly sought counseling about relationships for four years. UH DUH! - In May, Glamour magazine reported an error in its June issue that had just hit the stands: The 500mg of boric acid tablets three times a day with meals" to avoid yeast infections must be taken vaginally, not orally. (Not just another hit - huh?) DISGUSTINGLY WEIRD - Louis Arnaud, 72, was set for trial in Wheeling, West Virginia, in May in the murder of a local businessman, John G. Christakis. Police said Arnaud's motive was his irritation at how cluttered Christakis kept a warehouse formerly owned by Arnaud. Arnaud's lawyer said Arnaud's defense is that his dog implanted the idea in his mind that "the Greek [Christakis] must die" when the dog stuck its tongue inside Arnaud's mouth during a playful session. NO APPRECIATION - In June, John Richard Nosler was convicted of shooting Armando Marra to death in 1990 because Marra was insufficiently grateful for the loaf of bread Nosler had bought him in San Francisco. Nosler, according to his statement read at trial, said, "Marra rudely said, `Well, give it to me.' This was the comment that actually pushed me over the edge." Nosler shot Marra four times, then, according to his statement, said to himself, "Well, I can't stop now," and continued to fire, emptying the gun.  Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253