Airline Food And Travel Puns

A passenger on a ten-hour international flight lifted the tin foil lid off his dinner tray to discover a grey, unidentifiable square of food sitting next to a tiny scoop of cold mashed potatoes. He flagged down a flight attendant and asked whether the meal was supposed to be chicken or beef. The flight attendant leaned down, examined the tray closely for a few seconds, and said, "Well, sir, what does it taste like?" The passenger took a small bite, chewed thoughtfully, and replied, "It tastes like wet cardboard mixed with salt." The flight attendant smiled brightly and said, "Ah, that would be the chicken—the beef tastes like dry cardboard mixed with pepper."

A business traveler sitting in economy class ordered a glass of red wine from the beverage cart to relax during a turbulent flight. The flight attendant filled a tiny plastic cup halfway to the brim, handed it to him, and asked for eight dollars. The traveler looked down at the tiny cup, which held barely three sips, and said, "Is there any chance I could get a slightly larger portion for eight dollars?" The flight attendant didn't miss a beat, reached into her cart, handed him a second empty plastic cup, and said, "Here you go, sir—now you can divide it between two cups and pretend you're sharing with a friend."

An elderly woman eating her airline lunch tried for five minutes to tear open a tiny paper salt packet with her fingers, but the laminated paper refused to rip. Frustrated, she turned to the young man sitting in the aisle seat next to her and asked if he had a pair of pocket scissors or a key. The young man took the packet, tried using his teeth, tried tearing it with his pen, and finally handed it back, defeated. The woman sighed, looked out the window at the jet engine, and said, "It's amazing to think this airplane can fly at five hundred miles an hour through a thunderstorm, but human engineering still hasn't figured out how to open salt at high altitude."