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Aviation Jokes Collection 4

The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation

1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.

2 Me Ive Never Busted

2. Me? I've never busted minimums.

3 We Will Be On

3. We will be on time, maybe even early.

4 Pardon Me Maam I

4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.

5 I Have No Interest

5 .I have no interest in flying for the airlines.

6 I Fixed It Right

6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.

7 All That Turbulence Spoiled

7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.

8 Im A Member Of

8. I'm a member of the mile high club.

9 I Only Need Glasses

9. I only need glasses for reading.

10 I Broke Out Right

10. I broke out right at minimums.

11 The Weather Is Gonna

11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.

12 Dont Worry About The

12. Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.

13 If We Get A

13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.

14 Im 22 Got 6000

14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree & 3000 hours in a Lear.

15 We Shipped The Part

15. We shipped the part yesterday.

16 Id Love To Have

16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.

17 All You Have To

17. All you have to do is follow the book.

18 This Plane Outperforms The

18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.

19 We In Aviation Are

19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.

20 Oh Sure No Problem

20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.

21 I Have 5000 Hours

21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.

22 No Need To Look

22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.

23 Sure I Can Fly

23. Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?

24 Well Be Home By

24. We'll be home by lunchtime.

25 Your Plane Will Be

25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.

26 Im Always Glad To

26. I'm always glad to see the FAA.

27 We Fly Every Day

27. We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.

28 It Just Came Out

28. It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?

29 I Thought You Took

29. I thought YOU took care of that.

30 Ive Got The Field

30. I've got the field in sight.

31 Ive Got The Traffic

31. I've got the traffic in sight.

32 Of Course I Know

32. Of course I know where we are.

33 Im Sure The Gear

33. I'm SURE the gear was down.