Layover And Flight Delay Jokes

A stranded traveler spent a twenty-hour overnight layover in a massive international airport after his connecting flight was canceled due to heavy snowfall. By three in the morning, he had walked every inch of the terminal, tried every massage chair, and memorized the departure board line by line. Slumping down on a carpeted floor near Gate 42, he looked at another tired traveler sleeping on a bench across from him and asked, "Do you know what time the coffee shop opens?" The tired traveler opened one eye, looked at his watch, and said, "In four hours, but if you wait six hours, you can watch the sun rise over our broken promises."

Passengers waiting at a crowded departure gate had already experienced three separate thirty-minute delays due to 'minor mechanical inspections.' Finally, the gate agent stepped up to the podium, cleared her throat, and pressed the microphone button. The entire waiting area fell dead silent, holding their breath for good news. The agent announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have good news and bad news. The good news is that the mechanics have successfully identified the exact squeaking sound coming from the left engine." She paused, took a breath, and added, "The bad news is that it was a family of squirrels, and we're currently waiting for animal control to complete the eviction notice."

A businessman standing at the customer service counter was trying frantically to get on a standby list for the last flight of the night to Chicago. The agent typed rapidly on her keyboard, shook her head, and told him that there were already twenty-two people ahead of him on the standby list and only two seats left on the plane. The businessman leaned over the counter and whispered, "Look, I really need to get to Chicago tonight—is there any secret trick or special code you can use?" The agent smiled politely, leaned in close, and whispered back, "Yes, sir, the secret trick is called booking your ticket three weeks ago like everyone else did."