Funny Holiday Gift Shopping And Presents Jokes

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, a stressed shopper had been standing in a forty-minute checkout line at a crowded toy store with a armful of last-minute electronics. Just as she stepped up to the counter, a man carrying a single roll of wrapping paper pushed right past her, placed his item on the scanner, and handed the cashier a crisp twenty-dollar bill. The woman tapped him heavily on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, I've been waiting in this line since two o'clock!" The man turned around, smiled smoothly, and replied, "I'm in a terrible hurry, ma'am, my wife is expecting this paper right now." The woman looked at his single roll, picked up a massive boxed plastic playhouse from her cart, dropped it on his foot, and said, "Well, my kids are expecting this house, and it looks like it just found its front door."

An office employee participating in his company's annual Secret Santa exchange opened his wrapped gift during the holiday party to discover a single, unbranded plastic spatula wrapped in old newspaper. Confused, he held up the utensil and asked the room who had drawn his name for the twenty-dollar gift exchange. A senior manager stepped forward, took a sip of eggnog, and proudly said, "I picked your name! I noticed you always complain about the microwave in the breakroom being dirty, so I bought you something to scrape it clean with." The employee stared at the cheap spatula, looked at the manager, and said, "I'm truly touched, boss—next year I'm going to get you a bucket so you can carry all your great ideas around."

A father ordered a high-end designer leather handbag for his wife and a heavy-duty power tool set for his brother, requesting both items to be wrapped by the online retailer. On Christmas morning, his wife eagerly tore open her gift-wrapped box, only to reveal an eight-piece cordless impact driver set with a double-capacity lithium battery pack. She stared at the tools in utter silence while her husband turned bright red with panic. Thinking quickly, he cleared his throat, pointed to the heavy drill, and said, "Honey, I know how much you love home improvement shows, and I wanted to make sure you had enough torque to fix the kitchen cabinet door yourself this year."