Dumb Blonde Animal And Pet Humor

A blonde went on a guided wildlife safari tour in South Africa and rode in an open-top jeep through a national park reserve. As the jeep rounded a grassy hill, the group spotted a large herd of zebras grazing peacefully near a watering hole. The blonde gasped in amazement, pulled out her camera, and turned to the safari guide, saying, "That is the most incredible thing I have ever seen! How long does it take the park rangers to paint black and white stripes on all those horses every morning?"

A blonde's pet golden retriever ran out of the front yard gate and got lost in the suburban neighborhood. Devastated, she spent the afternoon printing up fifty color reward posters to nail onto light poles around the area. Her neighbor walked over, looked at one of the posters, and noticed that it contained a high-resolution photo of the dog along with a telephone number, but no description or location details. The neighbor asked, "Why didn't you put where the dog was lost?" The blonde rolled her eyes and replied, "Because if the dog finds the poster, he already knows where he is!"

A blonde bought a single goldfish in a small glass bowl to keep as a pet on her kitchen counter. Every Sunday afternoon, she would carefully remove the fish, wash the glass bowl with hot soapy water, refill it with fresh tap water, and drop the fish back inside. After two months, her roommate noticed that the fish was swimming upside down near the surface and asked if she was conditioning the water properly. The blonde shook her head and said, "I don't need to condition the water—I put a fresh drop of dish soap inside every week to make sure his scales stay squeaky clean!"

A blonde signed up for her first horseback riding lesson at a local equestrian farm and was mounted onto a gentle brown mare. As the instructor adjusted the leather saddle hitches, he asked her if the stirrup straps felt like the correct length for her legs. The blonde looked down at her feet, shook her head, and said, "No, they're way too short! Can you please lower the horse's belly about three inches so my feet can reach the ground?"