Dumb Blonde One liners
Why did the blonde wear two pairs of pants to golf? In case she got a hole in one.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted.
Why Did The Blonde Stand
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? To see what she looks like when she's asleep.
How Do You Keep A
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a ladder to the gas station? To check the high fuel prices.
What Does A Blonde Say
What does a blonde say when you ask if her blinker is working? "Yes... no... yes... no..."
Why Did The Blonde Throw
Why did the blonde throw her watch out the window? She wanted to see time fly.
How Do You Drown A
How do you drown a blonde? Put a "Scratch and Sniff" sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel? An air-bag deployment risk.
Why Did The Blonde Stare
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice container? Because it said "Concentrate."
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign "Clean Restrooms"? She cleaned them.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind.
How Do You Confuse A
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? To see how long she slept.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning? A visitor.
Why Did The Blonde Throw
Why did the blonde throw bread on her computer? To feed the web mouse.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh look, donut seeds!"
Why Did The Blonde Scale
Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
How Do You Break A
How do you break a blonde's finger? Punch her in the nose.
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a towel to the movies? She heard there was a wave of reviews coming in.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put her radio in the fridge? She wanted to listen to cool music.
How Did The Blonde Burn
How did the blonde burn her ear? She answered the iron.
How Did She Burn Her
How did she burn her other ear? They called back.
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a flashlight to the beach? She wanted to get a light tan.
What Did The Blonde Do
What did the blonde do when she heard 90% of accidents happen close to home? She moved.
Why Did The Blonde Climb
Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side.
How Do You Make A
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Why Did The Blonde Get
Why did the blonde get excited when she finished a puzzle in six months? The box said "2 to 4 years."
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the super bowl? She heard it was a big game.
How Do You Steal A
How do you steal a blonde's seat? Wait until she gets up to go to the bathroom.
Why Did The Blonde Drive
Why did the blonde drive off the cliff? She wanted to test her air brakes.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a skeleton of a blonde in a closet? Last year's hide-and-seek winner.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put tap water in the gas tank? The gas station owner told her it was a fluid situation.
What Is A Blondes Favorite
What is a blonde's favorite element? Helium, because it keeps her head light.
Why Did The Blonde Wear
Why did the blonde wear shoes with clear plastic soles? So she could see where she was going.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde standing on her head? An empty glass.
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take aspirin after reading a map? It gave her a headache to see all those lines.
How Do You Know A
How do you know a blonde has been using your computer? There's white-out on the screen.
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say after reading a book on anti-gravity? "I just couldn't put it down!"
Why Did The Blonde Get
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away the ones with W's.
What Do You Call 20
What do you call 20 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put a watch in her cereal? She wanted to enjoy some quality time.
How Did The Blonde Break
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Why Did The Blonde Buy
Why did the blonde buy a sun-dial? So she could tell the time during dark blackouts.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she opened her box of powdered milk? "Where do I put the cow?"
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a shovel to the bank? To dig up her savings.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a group of blondes standing in a circle? A ring around the rosy.
Why Did The Blonde Go
Why did the blonde go to the dentist? To get her teeth checked for memory loss.
Why Did The Blonde Throw
Why did the blonde throw a clock out the window? To test if time really flies.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she found a penny? "Look, free money!"
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put sugar under her pillow? To have sweet dreams.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde with a brain cell? A miracle worker.
Why Did The Blonde Stand
Why did the blonde stand on a chair to read a book? To get a higher level of education.
Why Did The Blonde Wear
Why did the blonde wear earmuffs in summer? To keep the ideas from blowing out.
How Do You Keep A
How do you keep a blonde busy in a swimming pool? Tell her to find the drain.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw a zebra? "Is that a horse in pajamas?"
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a bucket to the beach? To carry the sea home.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put her smartphone in a blender? She wanted to make a smart-shake.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde running a marathon? Lost.
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a pillow to the movie theater? She heard it was a sleeper hit.
How Do You Know A
How do you know a blonde sent you an email? There's a postage stamp stuck to the monitor.
Why Did The Blonde Go
Why did the blonde go to the store with a net? To catch some deals.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw an elevator? "Look at that room go up!"
Why Did The Blonde Sit
Why did the blonde sit on a newspaper? She wanted to raise her background knowledge.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde with a whistle? A referee with bad calls.
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a pencil to the ocean? To draw a sea line.
How Do You Spell Blonde
How do you spell blonde? B-L-O-N-D-E, but she'll forget the rest.
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring an umbrella to the computer desk? She heard about cloud storage.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when her car battery died? "Where's the funeral?"
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to bed? She was afraid of her own shadow.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde who knows how to spell? A genius.
Why Did The Blonde Stand
Why did the blonde stand in the rain? She wanted to grow taller.
Why Did The Blonde Wear
Why did the blonde wear high heels to the orchard? To reach the high apples.
How Do You Confuse A
How do you confuse a blonde in a grocery store? Ask her where the round aisle is.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put ice in her tea? She wanted to cool down her thoughts.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw a flock of birds? "Look at all those flying fish!"
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a camera to the dentist? To take a tooth-pic.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde at the bottom of the ocean? A diver with no air.
Why Did The Blonde Wear
Why did the blonde wear sunglasses at night? She was afraid of the moonbeams.
How Do You Stop A
How do you stop a blonde from drowning? Take your foot off her head.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put a dollar in the freezer? She wanted cold hard cash.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw a fire truck? "Look at the big red taxi!"
Why Did The Blonde Carry
Why did the blonde carry a stick? To beat the odds.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde with an opinion? Wrong.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put her head in the oven? She wanted to bake a thought.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw a rainbow? "Who painted that?"
Why Did The Blonde Take
Why did the blonde take a rope to the store? To tie up some loose ends.
How Do You Know A
How do you know a blonde made the dinner? The salad is cooked.
Why Did The Blonde Sit
Why did the blonde sit on the curb? She wanted to take a street break.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde on an airplane? A passenger.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put a lock on her closet? She didn't want her clothes to escape.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say when she saw a snow plow? "Look at that big broom!"
Why Did The Blonde Bring
Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the exam? So she could look at herself succeeding.
What Do You Call A
What do you call a blonde who reads? A rare sight.
Why Did The Blonde Put
Why did the blonde put butter on the gridiron? To make the play smooth.
What Did The Blonde Say
What did the blonde say at the end of these jokes? "I don't get it!"