Dumb Blonde Restaurant And Food Jokes

A blonde walked into a local pizzeria on a Friday night and ordered a large cheese pizza to take home for dinner. The pizza chef pulled the piping-hot pie from the brick oven, set it on the cutting board, raised his rolling cutter wheel, and asked whether she would like the pizza sliced into six pieces or eight pieces. The blonde thought carefully about the question for a moment, tapped her chin, and replied, "Oh, please slice it into six pieces! There's no way I could ever finish eating eight whole slices by myself!"

A blonde invited her friends over for a summer dinner party and decided to make homemade iced tea to serve on the patio. As her guests arrived, she walked out of the kitchen looking flustered and holding an empty plastic ice tray. She slouched in a chair and whined, "I'm so sorry guys, but dinner is going to be delayed because I lost the recipe for the ice cubes!" Her blonde friend patted her arm sympathetically and asked, "Oh no, did you forget how much water to use or how long to leave them in the oven?"

A blonde bought a stainless steel vacuum thermos bottle at a hardware store after reading on the box that it keeps hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold. Excited by the discovery, she filled it up before heading off to her job at a nursery school. During lunch, a co-worker noticed the new container and asked what she had brought inside it. The blonde smiled proudly and said, "I have two cups of piping-hot chicken soup and a scoop of cold chocolate ice cream!" The co-worker stared at her in shock and asked, "How can it do both at the same time?" To which the blonde replied, "That's the beauty of it—the thermos just knows!"

A blonde drove up to a fast-food drive-thru speaker box and listened as the cashier asked for her order. She leaned out her window and requested a double cheeseburger, a large order of French fries, and a diet soda. The cashier asked over the speaker, "Is that for here or to go, ma'am?" The blonde paused, looked at her steering wheel in utter confusion, and shouted back, "It's for to-go, obviously! I'm not going to eat a whole meal in the front seat of my car on the highway!"