Fishing Collection 3

A fisherman dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter checks his ledger, nods approvingly, and says, "You were a good man. You can bring one personal item into paradise. What will it be?" The fisherman proudly pulls out his custom-built $1,200 fly-fishing rod. St. Peter looks at it, smiles, and says, "Ah, beautiful piece of craftsmanship. But tell me... why does your entry ledger say you paid $45 for it at a yard sale?" The fisherman blushes and mutters, "Because if my wife finds out the real price, she’s going to make sure I get sent straight to hell."

A high-powered CEO on vacation walks down to a small village dock and sees a local fisherman resting beside a single wooden boat filled with a few large tuna. "How long did it take you to catch those?" the CEO asks. "Just a little while," the fisherman replies. "Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the CEO inquires. "I have enough to feed my family," the fisherman says softly. "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my kids, take a afternoon nap with my wife, and stroll into the village each evening to sip wine and play guitar with my friends." The CEO scoffs. "I have an MBA! I can help you. You should spend more time fishing, buy a bigger boat, use the profits to buy a fleet of boats, open your own cannery, and move to the city to control the entire supply chain!" "How long would that take?" the fisherman asks. "About 15 to 20 years," says the CEO. "And then what?" "Then comes the best part!" the CEO laughs. "You sell your company, retire, move to a quiet coastal village, sleep late, fish a little, take afternoon naps, and spend your evenings sipping wine with your friends!"

A guy comes home from a solo weekend trip with a trophy-sized bass mounted on a plaque. He hangs it proudly in his living room, telling his teenager, "Son, your old man caught this giant using nothing but a hand-knotted fly and raw patience!" His wife walks into the room holding a high-tech portable lie-detector device she bought online. She turns it on and asks her husband, "Did you catch that fish yourself?" The husband says, "Yes!" BEEP! goes the machine. He sighs. "Okay, fine... I bought it at the fish market!" The machine stays quiet. The son shakes his head and mutters, "Dad, when I was your age, I wouldn't even think about lying to my parents." BEEEEEEEP! screams the machine.

Two ice fishermen are sitting in a freezing hut in Minnesota, huddled around a small hole in the ice. One guy pulls out a shiny metal container, pours steaming soup into a mug, and takes a sip. "What's that metal thing?" his buddy asks. "It’s a Thermos," the guy replies. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." His buddy stares at it in utter disbelief. "Wait a minute... it keeps hot things hot, and it keeps cold things cold?" "Yep! It's the greatest invention ever made." His buddy scratches his chin, totally amazed, and asks, "How does it know?"