Fishing Jokes Part 10

A group of friends returned from a three-day fishing trip on the river. They had boasted for months about how many huge fish they were going to catch, but in reality, they hadn't landed a single keeper. On the way back home, embarrassed by their failure, they stopped at a local fish market. The leader of the group walked up to the fish counter and picked out three large, whole fresh trout. He looked at the butcher behind the counter and said, 'Sir, I want you to take these three fish and throw them at me across the counter one by one!' The butcher blinked in confusion and asked, 'Throw them at you? Why on earth would I do that?' The fisherman grinned and said, 'So I can tell my wife with a completely honest conscience that I caught three fish with my own hands today!'

A fisherman bought a high-tech portable lie detector robot that was programmed to slap anyone across the face whenever they told a lie. He decided to test it out at the dinner table with his wife and teenage son. During dinner, the father turned to his son and asked, 'Son, where were you this afternoon when you skipped school?' The son replied, 'I was at the library studying for my math test.' Whack! The robot reached across the table and slapped the son across the face. The son hung his head and confessed, 'Okay, okay! I was at my friend's house watching movies!' The father shook his head in disappointment and said, 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents or skipped school! I was always at the river fishing or studying!' Whack! The robot slapped the father so hard his hat flew off. The wife burst out laughing and said, 'Ha! That proves it! After all, he IS your son!' Whack! The robot slapped the wife right off her chair.

Three old anglers met up at their high school reunion after not seeing each other for thirty years. They sat down at the bar to catch up on their lives and tell stories about their youth. The first angler bragged, 'Remember that summer trip to Lake Michigan? I caught a salmon so big that when I hauled it into the boat, the water level dropped three inches!' The second angler scoffed, 'That's nothing! I was fishing in Florida twenty years ago and hooked a marlin so massive that when we brought it to the dock, it took a 10-ton industrial crane just to lift it out of the water!' They both turned to the third angler, who had been sitting quietly sipping his beer, and asked, 'What about you, Jim? What's your biggest fish story?' Jim took a slow sip of beer and said, 'Well, I once caught a tiny three-inch bluegill...' The other two laughed out loud. 'A three-inch bluegill?! That's nothing to brag about!' Jim smiled softly and said, 'Yeah, but I caught it thirty years ago... and it hasn't grown an inch since!'

A fisherman brought a massive largemouth bass he caught to a local taxidermist to have it mounted for his living room wall. He spent twenty minutes telling the taxidermist the epic story of how the fish weighed at least fifteen pounds and fought like a wild tiger. The taxidermist placed the fish on his official certified scale, looked at the readout, and said, 'Well, according to my scale, this fish weighs exactly seven pounds four ounces.' The fisherman looked offended, grabbed the fish off the scale, and put it on his own handheld digital fish scale that he carried in his tackle bag. His handheld scale read: 'TWENTY-TWO POUNDS EIGHT OUNCES.' The taxidermist gasped in amazement. 'Wow! That is the most incredibly inaccurate fish scale I have ever seen in my life! Where did you buy that thing?!' The fisherman smiled proudly and said, 'I didn't buy it from a tackle shop... I bought it off an old maternity doctor who used it to weigh newborn babies!'