Fishing Jokes Part 6

A wealthy professional bass angler upgraded his boat with thirty thousand dollars worth of cutting-edge marine electronics. He had forward-facing sonar, 3D live imaging, side-scan transducers, and automated GPS anchor poles. He spent four hours sitting on his casting deck staring intently at a high-definition monitor screen. A recreational fisherman in an old battered Jon boat drifted past him, watching the pro angler stare motionless at the screen without making a single cast. The recreational angler called out, 'Hey pal! Having any luck over there?' The pro angler shushed him angrily without taking his eyes off the display. 'Quiet! I'm watching a massive six-pound largemouth bass lurking twenty-two feet down near that submerged log!' The recreational angler watched for another ten minutes while the pro remained frozen, staring at the screen. Finally, he asked, 'Aren't you going to throw a lure at him?' The pro snapped back, 'Are you crazy?! If I throw a lure in there, the splash might mess up my video resolution!'

Two tournament partners were driving back to the weigh-in station after a long day of fishing on a famous bass lake. They had five monster fish sitting in their boat's aerated livewell that were guaranteed to sweep the top prizes for total weight and big bass. The driver looked at his partner and asked, 'Hey Mark, did you remember to feed the fish those heavy lead split-shot sinkers before putting them in the livewell like some of those cheaters do?' Mark looked shocked and offended. 'Absolutely not! We are honest anglers! I would never cheat by feeding lead sinkers to our catch!' The driver let out a sigh of relief. 'Oh, thank goodness! That's awesome to hear!' Mark grinned, patted his heavy tackle bag, and added, 'Besides, lead is way too expensive... I just fed them three handfuls of wet gravel from the boat ramp!'

A weekend warrior was fishing a high-stakes local bass tournament. He pulled up to a brush pile that was holding several large bass. To keep the boat silent, he deployed his brand-new ultra-quiet brushless electric trolling motor using a wireless wrist remote. He pressed the auto-pilot anchor button, made a perfect cast right past the brush pile, and immediately hooked into an eight-pound bass. As he fought the fish, he accidentally bumped the speed control knob on his wrist remote all the way to maximum power. The trolling motor spun instantly to life, turning 180 degrees and pulling the bass boat forward at high speed directly into the shallow, muddy reed bed along the bank. The boat plowed ten feet into the dry mud, throwing gear everywhere. His partner crawled out from under the life jackets, looked around at the dry grass surrounding the boat, and said, 'Well, on the bright side, we definitely won't drift away from the spot now!'

A novice angler participated in his first club bass tournament. During the morning meeting, he noticed a legendary local fisherman who had won the club championship ten years in a row loading small white plastic containers into his boat. Curious to learn the veteran's secret, the novice waited until the tournament ended. The veteran had once again taken first place with a staggering 28-pound bag of bass. The novice approached him with a cold beverage and said, 'Sir, I noticed you loading those secret containers this morning. What is that miracle bait you use to catch those huge fish every time?' The veteran accepted the drink, smiled, and leaned in close to whisper. 'Son, the secret bait in those containers isn't for the fish.' The novice blinked. 'It's not? What is it for then?' The veteran whispered, 'It's fried chicken! I eat it while sitting on the best spot on the lake so I have the energy to guard it from you guys all day!'