Fishing Jokes Part 5

A veteran angler took his cousin out for his very first fishing trip on a quiet freshwater lake. The cousin was eager to learn, so the veteran spent twenty minutes explaining how to cast an expensive overhead baitcasting reel with precision. The cousin swung the rod back with all his might and let fly. Unfortunately, instead of sailing out into the open lake, the lure whipped straight backward and got tangled high up in the dense branches of a tall pine tree overhanging the shore. The cousin looked up at the dangling lure forty feet above the ground, pulled on the braided line, and asked, 'Oh man, I'm so sorry! What should I do now?' The veteran angler looked up at his favorite $25 wooden topwater lure stuck firmly in the pine needles, reeled in his own line, and said calmly, 'Well, standard procedure dictates that you jerk the rod violently three times, snap the line, swear out loud at the top of your lungs, and then tie on another lure just like I do!'

A beginner spent months researching the best fishing gear, saving his money, and buying a state-of-the-art tackle box. He filled every compartment with organized crankbaits, soft plastics, hooks, weights, and expensive terminal tackle. On his inaugural trip, he set the heavy box on the flat stern of his motorized aluminum fishing boat. As they roared across the lake at top speed toward their first fishing spot, the boat bounced over a steep wake from a passing speedboat. The heavy tackle box slid off the stern and sank like a stone into fifty feet of murky water. The beginner slammed the throttle to neutral, stared back at the bubbles rising to the surface, and put his hands over his face in total despair. His experienced friend patted him on the shoulder to comfort him and said, 'Cheer up, buddy! Look at the bright side!' The beginner looked up tearfully and asked, 'What bright side could there possibly be?' His friend smiled and said, 'You just established the most organized artificial reef this lake has ever seen!'

Two novice fishermen bought a hand-drawn map from a local roadside diner that claimed to highlight the top secret trophy bass spots in the county. They spent six grueling hours rowing across a giant reservoir in the blistering summer heat, searching for the spot labeled with a big red 'X'. When they finally arrived at the exact coordinates marked on the parchment, they dropped their lines into the water. To their utter amazement, within thirty seconds, both of them hooked massive ten-pound bass simultaneously! For two hours straight, every single cast resulted in a prize-winning catch. As the sun began to set, one fisherman said, 'This spot is incredible! We have to make sure we remember exactly where this spot is for next weekend!' The second fisherman pulled out a permanent black marker, leaned over the side of the boat, and drew a large 'X' directly onto the floorboards of the wooden boat. The first fisherman stared at him, slapped his forehead, and yelled, 'You absolute fool! What good does marking the boat do?! What if we end up renting a different boat next week?!'

A man who had just bought his very first powerboat invited his neighbour to join him for the maiden voyage at the local public boat ramp. They backed the brand-new truck down the slippery concrete ramp while a line of twenty impatient boaters watched from behind. The owner unhooked the bow strap, shoved the boat off the trailer into the water, and climbed aboard. He turned the key, but the engine just clicked weakly and refused to turn over. He tried again and again until the battery began to fade. Frustrated, he yelled to his neighbour on the dock, 'Hey! Did you double-check the fuel tank and spark plugs like I asked?' The neighbour yelled back, 'Engine looks great! But hey, while you were turning the key, did you remember to put the drain plug in the hull?' The owner paused, looked down at his feet, and realized water was already up to his knees. 'Well,' he called back, 'on the bright side, we won't need to drive out to the deep spot to go swimming!'