Fishing Jokes Part 8

Four friends went on an expensive weekend fishing trip at a wilderness lodge. Despite spending two full days on the lake using every lure in their tackle boxes, none of them managed to catch a single fish. As they packed up their gear on Sunday evening, they debated how they would explain their total failure to their families back home. The first guy suggested, 'Let's tell them the water was far too cold and all the fish were lethargic near the bottom.' The second guy argued, 'No, let's say a sudden barometric pressure drop threw off their feeding patterns!' The third guy offered, 'We should just tell them the lake was overfished by commercial boats earlier in the week.' They all turned to the fourth angler, who was the oldest and wisest of the group, and asked, 'What do you think we should tell them, Bob?' Bob shrugged, pulled out his phone, and said, 'I'm just going to tell the truth... the fish were smarter than the four of us combined, and they had better things to do than eat our fake plastic bugs!'

A devoted fisherman snuck away from his office on a bright Tuesday afternoon to spend a few hours on the local reservoir. He rowed out to a secluded cove, cast his line out, and settled back in his seat to relax. Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was his strict boss. He cleared his throat, answered in a weak voice, and coughed heavily into the microphone. His boss asked, 'Dave, where are you? You missed the 2:00 PM strategy meeting!' Dave coughed again and groaned, 'I'm so sorry, boss! I caught a terrible, violent stomach bug this afternoon. I'm bedridden at home in severe agony, barely able to move!' Just at that exact moment, a monster ten-pound largemouth bass hit Dave's lure, leaping out of the water with a massive splash and stripping line from his drag while Dave squealed with excitement. His boss paused on the line and demanded angrily, 'What on earth was that loud splashing sound?!' Dave quickly coughed into the phone again and whimpered, 'Oh boss... that was just my fever broke so hard I started sweating buckets!'

A guy begged his father-in-law to lend him his prized, custom-built $800 graphite fly rod for a weekend fishing expedition. The father-in-law reluctantly agreed, sternly warning him, 'If you break or lose this rod, don't bother coming to Sunday dinner ever again!' On the second day of the trip, the guy hooked a heavy pike. While trying to land the fish without a net, he bent the rod tip too far backward, and the custom rod snapped into three pieces with a loud crack. Panicked and terrified of his father-in-law's wrath, he rushed to the nearest tackle shop to find an exact replacement. The shopkeeper looked at the broken pieces and shook his head. The shopkeeper said, 'Son, that rod was custom made by a craftsman who retired ten years ago. You can't buy another one anywhere in the country!' Desperate, the guy asked, 'Is there anything else I can buy that will save my marriage?' The shopkeeper reached under the counter, pulled out a brochure, and said, 'Yeah... a solid life insurance policy and a good moving van!'

Two anglers drove three hours through the mountains to reach a remote alpine lake known for producing state-record trout. They hiked two miles through dense timber carrying heavy backpacks, set up their camp, and inflated their float tubes at the water's edge. As they pulled out their rods to rig up their gear, one angler started frantically digging through his backpack, turning every pocket inside out. His buddy stopped and asked, 'What's wrong, Dan? What are you looking for?' Dan turned pale and whispered, 'I forgot the bait box... all the live nightcrawlers and salmon eggs are sitting on my kitchen counter back home!' His buddy stared at him in utter silence for a full minute, then slowly pulled a package out of his jacket pocket. Dan gasped with relief, 'Oh thank goodness! Did you bring extra tackle or lures?' His buddy shook his head, opened the package, and said, 'Nope, but I brought a deck of cards... because we're going to be playing poker for three days while we think about how stupid you are!'