Military Jokes Armoured Corps Tanker Stories

An armored division tank commander was maneuvering a sixty-ton main battle tank down a narrow rural road during a European training exercise. The tank came upon a fragile-looking wooden bridge crossing a deep river gorge, with a small weight limit sign that read 'Maximum Capacity: 5 Tons'. The commander halted the vehicle, popped his hatch, and looked down at his driver. 'Driver,' the commander asked through the intercom, 'do you think this bridge can support our sixty-ton vehicle?' The driver looked out his periscope, paused, and replied, 'Well, Commander, there's only one way to find out: we cross it really, really fast before the bridge realizes how heavy we are!'

After spending twelve continuous hours tearing down and rebuilding a tank's complex diesel engine transmission, a squad of armored mechanics finally tightened the last fitting. Tired and covered in dark grease, they stepped back to inspect their work. The crew chief reached into his pocket for a rag, only to pull out a heavy six-inch steel bolt that had somehow not been reinstalled. The young mechanic next to him froze in terror and whispered, 'Chief! What do we do with that extra engine bolt?' The chief looked around, tossed the bolt far into the bushes behind the hangar, and said, 'What bolt? That was just a spare part the factory included to test our confidence! Start the engine!'

During live-fire gunnery qualification on a tank range, a rookie gunner was tasked with acquiring and destroying a pop-up target positioned twelve hundred meters downrange. Through his thermal sights, the gunner spotted a large round shape sitting near the edge of the tree line. He called out 'Target identified!', lined up the crosshairs, and fired a practice shell. The round slammed into the target, sending a massive cloud of yellow dust into the air. The range tower officer keyed his microphone and radioed down: 'Great shot on target 4, Tank 2! However, for your next round, please select the steel tank target instead of the farmer's round hay bale!'

Two tank crewmen were sitting inside their cold steel vehicle during a freeze in the desert, waiting for orders to move out. Shivering in his uniform, the loader turned to the driver and asked, 'Hey, why did the engineers design these advanced battle tanks with state-of-the-art night vision, computer targeting, and ceramic armor, but completely forget to put in a basic cabin heater?' The driver wiped the frost off his vision block, pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, and grunted, 'Because, loader, if the tank was warm and comfortable, us crewmen would fall asleep and forget we're supposed to be tough armor personnel!'