Naughty Johnny Jokes Part 9

Little Johnny was sitting on the porch with his grandfather, who was holding an antique gold pocket watch that had been passed down through generations. "Johnny," his grandfather said fondly, winding the stem of the watch, "this watch was given to me by my father, and his father gave it to him. It has been running continuously for over eighty years!" Johnny looked at the shiny watch with wide eyes. "Eighty years, Grandpa? Without stopping once?" "Not once!" his granddad replied proudly. Johnny tapped the glass crystal with his finger and said, "Man, whoever made the battery for that thing must be a total genius!"

Little Johnny was sitting on his grandmother's lap, staring intensely at her face while she read him a storybook. After a few minutes, Johnny reached up and gently traced one of the deep wrinkles near her eyes. "Grandma," Johnny asked innocently, "why do you have all those lines on your face?" His grandmother smiled sweetly, kissed his forehead, and said, "Well, Johnny, every time I laugh or smile, God puts a little line on my face to mark a happy memory!" Johnny thought about this for a moment, looked shocked, and blurted out, "Grandma! What on earth did you do to make your neck so happy?"

Little Johnny was staying over at his grandparents' house for the weekend. Before bed, he walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and saw his grandfather standing at the sink. Johnny watched in total disbelief as his grandfather reached into his mouth, pulled out his entire upper set of teeth, and dropped them into a glass of water on the counter. Johnny’s jaw dropped to the floor. He ran into the bedroom screaming, "Mom! Dad! Grandpa just swallowed his mouth and put his teeth in a jar!"

Little Johnny's grandfather recently got fitted with a brand-new, high-tech hearing aid that was almost completely invisible inside his ear. During Sunday lunch, Johnny's dad asked his grandfather, "So, how do you like the new hearing aid? Is it working well?" Grandpa smiled and said, "Oh, it's wonderful! I can hear everything clearly now! I've already changed my will three times since last Tuesday!" Johnny leaned over to his cousin and whispered, "I told you we shouldn't have been talking about his classic car behind his back!"