Traffic Cop Pulled Over Jokes

A traffic cop pulled over a sports car that was cruising down the highway at over one hundred miles per hour. The cop walked up to the driver's window, took out his notepad, and said sternly, 'Sir, I've been chasing you for three miles! What on earth is your excuse for driving so fast?' The driver looked the officer dead in the eye and replied, 'Officer, three years ago my wife ran away with a police officer, and when I saw your lights in my mirror, I was terrified you were trying to bring her back to me!' The cop stared at him in complete silence for five seconds, put his notepad away, and said, 'Have a nice day, sir.'

A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop after weaving slightly while coming out of a fast-food drive-thru. The officer approached the vehicle, smelled french fries, and asked, 'Sir, why were you driving so erratically back there?' The driver held up a large bag of fast food and a soda cup, explaining, 'Officer, I was trying to open my dipping sauce, hold my double cheeseburger, steer with my knee, and unwrap my napkin all at the same time!' The officer shook his head and replied, 'Well, I'm giving you a citation for reckless driving and a warning for not offering me a french fry.'

A driver on a two-lane mountain road noticed a pickup truck tailgating his rear bumper extremely closely for several miles. Frustrated, the driver pulled off into a scenic turnout to let the truck pass. To his surprise, the pickup truck pulled in right behind him, and out stepped a uniformed police officer. The officer walked up to the driver's window and said, 'Sir, I pulled in behind you because your brake lights aren't working.' The driver gasped and said, 'Oh thank goodness! I thought you were just really eager to inspect my bumper sticker!'

A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had made an illegal U-turn in the middle of a busy intersection. When the officer asked the driver why he made such a dangerous maneuver, the driver pointed to his dashboard navigation unit and blamed the technology: 'Officer, my GPS kept repeating Recalculating! Recalculating! in a very judgey tone, and I panicked!' The officer chuckled, wrote out the traffic citation, and handed it to the driver, saying, 'Here is your new route map. It includes a mandatory stop at the county clerk's office.'