Aviation History And Plane Puns

Back in 1910, an early aviation pioneer built a wooden biplane in his barn and invited the entire town to watch his very first test flight on a windy afternoon. He started the sputtering engine, bounced along the grassy pasture for two hundred yards, and managed to lift off three feet into the air before crashing gently into a giant hay bale at the edge of the field. The crowd rushed over to pull him out of the debris, asking if he was injured or discouraged by the quick crash. The pioneer dusted the straw off his jacket, put his leather goggles back on, and said, "Discouraged? Are you kidding? That was three feet of absolute glory, and the hay bale didn't cost a dime!"

A traveler booked a regional ticket on an old, vintage twin-propeller aircraft that looked like it had been built in the 1950s. As he climbed the narrow metal stairs to board, he noticed the exterior paint was peeling and the engines were making a loud, rhythmic clanking noise even while idling. Nervous, he sat down next to an elderly gentleman who looked completely relaxed and asked him if he had ever flown on this specific model before. The elderly man smiled, patted the armrest, and said, "Son, I flew on this exact plane forty years ago on my honeymoon, and the best part about these old birds is that the noise is so loud you can't hear yourself worrying."

A student pilot was practicing crosswind landings with his flight instructor on a day when gusty winds were blowing almost perpendicular to the main runway. On his third attempt, the plane came down crooked, bounced off the left wheel, skidded sideways across the asphalt, and finally straightened out right before coming to a stop at the taxiway exit. The student wiped the sweat off his forehead, took a deep breath, and said, "Well, sir, at least we stayed on the runway!" The instructor looked out the side window at the tire marks left on the ground and said, "Son, that wasn't a landing—that was a drift maneuver with wings attached."