The Altitude Adjustment Advice
A passenger sitting in the back row of a transpacific flight was feeling extremely airsick as the plane bounced through moderate clear-air turbulence over the ocean. He reached for the sick bag, turned to the flight attendant passing by, and gasped, "Is there anything I can do to make this motion sickness stop?" The flight attendant stopped her cart, looked at him compassionately, and replied, "Well, sir, you can try stepping outside for some fresh air, but I strongly advise waiting until we drop down another thirty thousand feet first."
The Smooth Approach Radar
An air traffic controller was guiding a line of commercial jets into a busy hub during a heavy thunderstorm, giving rapid-fire heading adjustments and speed restrictions over the radio frequency. A pilot from an incoming flight keyed his mic and asked in a calm, casual voice, "Approach, can you give us a smooth vector around that massive red storm cell on our weather radar?" The controller chuckled into his microphone and replied, "Captain, if I had a vector that was actually smooth tonight, I'd be selling it on the stock market instead of sitting in this dark room talking to you."
The Red-Eye Final Landing
After a grueling eleven-hour overnight flight across four time zones, the airliner finally touched down on the runway with a loud, heavy thud that rattled every overhead bin in the cabin. As the plane slowed down and turned onto the taxiway, the captain came over the PA system with his closing announcement. In a groggy, gravelly voice, he said, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your destination. We know you had a choice of airlines today, but based on that landing, we appreciate you sticking around for the crash-test demonstration."