Dirty Jokes Collection 26

Theres a blind man right, hes feelin his way down the street with his stick right, he stops in front of a fish, he stops he takes a deep breathe he says, "Whoooo good moring ladies."

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who stand on toilet high on pot. It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl! Man who jizz in cash register come into money. Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time. Man who fart in church must sit in own pew. Man who finger girl having period get caught red handed. Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam. Baseball wrong--man with four balls cannot walk. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger. Learn to masturbate--come in handy. Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock. Man who buy drowned cat must pay for wet pussy. Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone. Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. He who lives in glass house, dress in basement. Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly. Better to be pissed off than pissed on. He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long. Couple on 7-day honeymoon make hole weak. Girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip. Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honorable discharge. Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. He who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck. He who fishes in others' holes often catches crabs. Man who puts dick in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.

Sex is fun, Sex is a game, 1 night of passion, 9 months of pain, Fathers and asshole, Babies a git, and all because the fucking condom split!!!

A husband and wife were laying in bed one night. The wife got up to go to the bathroom and look in the mirrior. She complains to her husband, "My boobs are to small!!" The husband looks at her and says,Just take toilet paper and rub them every day. As the months went by she went back to the mirror again. And said the same as before. The husband says laughing, "It worked for your butt."

A bloke is sat at a bar when he sees this gorgeous woman waiting for her date. He decides to go over and chat her up. 'I think you're wasting your time, I'm only interested in women' said the woman. 'Oh come on, I bet I can change your mind' said the bloke. After ten minutes of the bloke pestering her, she had had enough. 'OK' said the woman 'I'll sleep with you if you can do anything for me that my vibrator can't!' 'OK, barman get this lady a drink' he said. 'let's see your vibrator do that?'

There was a class and each student had to go up to the front of the class and say a sentence using one of their spelling words. First Juan goes up and his word was love so he says, "Sara says she loves me". Then it's Chase's turn and his word is hate. So he goes up and says, "Sara says she hates me". Then it's Chris's turn and his word is dictate. So he goes up to the frount of the class and says, "Sara says my dictate good".

One day this little girl and her mother went for a walk. the little girl saw 2 dogs humping. The little girl asked her mother "mommy what are those dogs doing. Her mother said " honey there making cakes. Well later that day when they got home her father was watching tv. There was 2 monkeys humping on tv. The little girl asked "mommy what are those monkeys doing. Her mother said " making cakes" It was bed time so the little girl went to bed. The next morning when she woke up she went to the kitchen table and smiled. Her mother asked " why are you smiling" The little girl said "I know what you and daddy were doing last night you and daddy were making cakes. Her father asked "how do you know that" The little girl said, "Because I licked the iceing off the bed"

One day these 2 aliens from outer space wanted to take over the world. So they landed by a small gas station and one of them walked up to a gas pump and said, "Show me your leader." The gas pump didn't say anything.he said, "Show me your leader or I'll shoot you". Well again the gas pump just stood there. So he pulled out his gun and shot the gas pump and blew both of the aliens three counties back. Well the other alien said, "You shouldn't of fucked with him man". The other one said, "Why" The other alien replied, "Any one who can rap there dick around themself 3 times and stick in their ear is one bad mother fucker".

Two little sperms just getting out. One asks, "How long before we get to the egg?" The other one replied, "Don't know, we're just passing the tonsils."

A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to another guy. They soon get into a deep discussion about their sex lives and after a few the cowboy asks the other dude, "Have you ever heard of the Rodeo Position?" The other man said he hadn't so the cowboy continued in saying "Well, you mount your wife from behind, cup her breasts firmly, and say'Hey,these are almost as good as your sister's. See if you can stay on for 8 seconds."