Funny Lists Collection 41

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me awife." (Tom, 5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to havevideos of the wedding." (Jim, 10) CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE: "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deoderantare so popular." (Jan, 9) ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE: "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9) "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7) ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE: "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8) "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7) "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9) CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS: "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8) CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE: "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6) "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8) "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10) THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER: "One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8) SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU: "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9) "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." (Bart, 9) WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU" "The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (michelle,9) HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE: "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7) "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy,8)

You watched "Mallrats" and said "I've been to that mall!" At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers. You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown. You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors. You know that the only people that call it "Joisey" are from New York. You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one Dunkin' Donuts. You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges" You know that it's called "Great Adventure"... not "Six Flags", dammit! You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a supermarket, but actual individual stores. You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast. One time, a sea gull shit on your head. You've eaten at a diner, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen times. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen. You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while driving. You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood. You once said, "It smells like New York in here," You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)! In high school, you worked at a Friendly's. The Garden State Parkway doesn't freak you out at night. You know what a "jug handle" is. You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law. You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it. You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ if the Nets didn't blow," You say "water" weird. (Wadder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever) Even your school made good Italian subs. You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado or earthquake. You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights. You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation. You only go to New York City for day trips. You've run out of money on the Parkway. You're Italian. You know where to get the best bagel. You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey. There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way. You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage. You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle. The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May You can't understand why there aren't more 24-hr diners elsewhere in the county You live within 45 minutes of at least three different malls Someone at the beach once called you a benny You've seen or been in a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils fan You have or know someone with mafia connections too You're related to someone who thinks the New York Jets should be called the New Jersey Jets You have at least one friend who drives a truck You've been camping You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more than English You've been to a party in the woods You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown You liked the Jets even before this season You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese sandwich at 2 a.m. You don't take shit from no one either You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook mall Z-100 used to be your favorite radio station Anything less than three inches of snow ain't shit Someone cut you off on the road and you told them to go fuck themself You think people from South Jersey talk funny You're radioactive and proud of it.