Music And Band Jokes Collection 6

Twas the night before implementation And all through the house Not a program was working, Not even a browse. The engineers hung by their tubes in despair, With hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The customers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of progress danced in their heads. When out of the COPE [unk acronym] there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a super programmer (with a six pack of beer). His resume glowed with experience so rare, He turned out great code with a bit pusher's flair. More rapid than eagles, his routines they came, And he whistled and shouted and called them by name: On Update! On Add! On Inquire! On Delete! On Batch Jobs! On Closing! On Functions Complete! His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean, From weekends and nights spent in front of a screen. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk; And laying his finger upon the "enter" key, The system came up and worked perfectly. The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted; The inquiries inquired and closings completed. He tested each whistle, and tested each bell, With nary and APPEND, thus all had gone well. The job was finished, the test were concluded, The engineer's last changes were even included. "Heh!", the customer exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt, "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! You can't say this? What a shame sir! We'll find you Another game sir. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread. LITTLE MISS MUFFET Sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. It was not the spider that crept up beside her But Little Boy Blue and his horn. SIMPLE SIMON Met a Pieman Going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, "What have you got there?" Said the Pieman unto Simon, "Pies, you dumb@ss!" HUMPTY DUMPTY Sat on a wall Humpty dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again. HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE, The cat did a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun When the cat died of electric shock. GEORGIE PORGY Puddin' Pie Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play, He kissed them too, 'cause he was gay. THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL Who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, She was very, very good, But when she was bad, She got a fur coat, jewels, and a sports car.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to smoke some marijuanna. Jack got high and dropped his fly and said, "jill, do you wanna?" Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. but silly Jill forgot the Pill and now they have a son!

Sex is fun, Sex is a game, 1 night of passion, 9 months of pain, Fathers and asshole, Babies a git, and all because the fucking condom split!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread. LITTLE MISS MUFFET Sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. It had not been the spider that crept up beside her But Little Boy Blue and his horn. SIMPLE SIMON Met a Pieman going to the fair Said Simple Simon to the Pieman "What have you got there?" Said the Pieman unto Simon "Pies, you dumbass!" HUMPTY DUMPTY Sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again. HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE, The cat did a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun When it died of electric shock. GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play He kissed them too, 'cause he was gay. THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL who had a little curl! Right in the middle of her forehead And when she was good, She was very, very good But when she was bad she got a Fur coat, jewels, and a sports car.