Naughty Johnny Jokes Part 5

Little Johnny was taken to the clinic by his mother for his routine annual physical examination before starting the new school year. The doctor, Dr. Evans, was a friendly elderly man who liked to make light conversation with his young patients to put them at ease. "So, Johnny," Dr. Evans asked while checking Johnny's ears with an otoscope, "do you eat your vegetables every single day like a good boy?" "Yes, sir," Johnny replied dutifully. "I eat carrots, broccoli, and spinach." "Excellent! And do you drink plenty of fresh milk to keep your bones strong?" "Every morning, doctor!" Dr. Evans smiled and picked up his stethoscope. "Wonderful! Now, Johnny, tell me... do you ever suffer from hearing voices in your head?" Johnny looked at the doctor deadpan and replied, "Only when my mother realizes I haven't cleaned my bedroom!"

After noticing that Little Johnny was squinting at the television screen, his mother brought him to an optometrist for an eye examination. The optometrist had Johnny sit in the big black chair and flipped down the eye-chart screen on the wall. "Alright, young man," the eye doctor said, pointing to the top line of giant letters. "Can you read the top row for me?" Johnny stared blankly at the wall and said, "No, I can't read it." The doctor lowered the lights slightly and pointed to the medium-sized letters on line three. "How about this row, Johnny?" Johnny shook his head. "Nope. Can't read that either." Concerned, the doctor clicked the machine and made the letters enormous, taking up half the wall. "Surely you can read these huge letters now!" Johnny sighed heavily and said, "Doctor, I told you, I can't read! I'm only in kindergarten!"

Little Johnny had to go to the dentist to get a small cavity filled. He was feeling very nervous about the loud drill, so the dentist tried to calm his fears. "Don't worry at all, Johnny," the dentist said kindly as he prepped his instruments. "I have a special magic spray that makes your tooth go completely to sleep so you won't feel a single thing!" Johnny looked at the tiny silver sprayer suspiciously. "Does it really make things go to sleep?" "It sure does!" the dentist promised. Johnny leaned forward and whispered, "Can I borrow a bottle of that spray to take home? My dad's snoring keeps the whole house awake at night!"

Little Johnny developed a terrible cough during the winter season, so his mother took him to see the pediatrician. The pediatrician wrote out a prescription for a thick, sweet-tasting cough syrup and handed it to Johnny's mother. "Give him two teaspoons every four hours," the doctor instructed. "It will calm his throat and help him sleep soundly through the night." Johnny looked up at the doctor and asked, "Doctor, will this medicine make me stop coughing completely?" "It certainly will, Johnny!" the doctor reassured him. Johnny grumbled, "That's a shame. Coughing was the only excuse I had left for not doing my chores!"