Naughty Johnny Jokes Part 6

Little Johnny and his mother were pushing a shopping cart down the candy aisle at the local grocery store. Johnny spotted a large display of chocolate bars and immediately began begging. "Mom, can I please get a giant milk chocolate bar? Please?" His mother shook her head firmly. "No, Johnny. We are here to buy vegetables and groceries for dinner. No chocolate today." Johnny didn't take no for an answer. He threw himself onto the shiny linoleum floor, kicking his legs and wailing at the top of his lungs. An elderly woman walking past stopped her cart, looked at the screaming boy, and said to the mother, "You know, dear, when my children acted like that, I found that a firm word worked wonders!" The mother looked at the elderly woman, then looked down at Johnny, who immediately stopped screaming, looked up at the lady, and said, "Mind your own business, lady, or I'll go cry in your cart next!"

While browsing a high-end toy store with his father, Little Johnny fell in love with a massive remote-controlled monster truck that cost over two hundred dollars. Johnny tugged at his father's jacket. "Dad, dad! Please buy me this awesome truck! It goes twenty miles an hour!" His dad looked at the price tag and gasped. "Two hundred dollars?! Johnny, that is far too expensive. I don't have that kind of money lying around." Johnny thought quickly, leaned close to his dad's ear, and whispered, "Dad, if you buy me this truck, I promise I won't tell mom about that fast-food receipt I found in your car glove box yesterday!" His dad stared at him in utter shock, reached for his wallet, and muttered, "You're a ruthless little negotiator, Johnny."

Little Johnny walked into a local pet store with his mother to buy fish food. Near the front door, a colorful parrot was sitting on a high perch. As Johnny walked past, the parrot squawked loudly, "Hey kid! You look goofy!" Johnny froze, glared at the bird, but kept walking. Ten minutes later, as they were heading toward the cash register, Johnny passed the bird again. The parrot tilted its head and squawked, "Hey kid! You still look goofy!" Furious, Johnny marched right up to the store owner and complained. The store owner apologized profusely, walked over to the parrot, grabbed it by the shoulders, and gave it a stern warning: "If you insult another customer, I will lock you in a dark closet for a month!" The store owner put the bird back on its perch. Johnny walked past one last time, smirking proudly. The parrot glared at Johnny, cleared its throat, and squawked, "Hey kid... you know what!"

Little Johnny’s mother dragged him into a department store to try on formal suits for an upcoming family wedding. Johnny hated dressing up and complained continuously as his mother handed him coat after coat in the narrow fitting room. After trying on five different itchy wool jackets, Johnny poked his head out of the dressing room curtain and called for the salesperson. "Excuse me, miss!" Johnny shouted across the sales floor. The clerk walked over with a polite smile. "Yes, young man? How can I help you?" Johnny pointed at his mother inside the fitting room and asked, "Do you sell any suits that come with an official doctor's note saying I'm allergic to weddings?"