Naughty Johnny Jokes Part 7

Little Johnny was flying on a commercial airplane for the very first time with his parents. He was lucky enough to get the window seat and stared out in awe as the plane ascended through the cloud layer. After an hour of smooth cruising, the flight attendant came down the aisle with the beverage cart. "What would you like to drink, little boy?" she asked warmly. Johnny looked out the window at the white fluffy clouds, then looked up at the flight attendant and asked, "Do you have any sky-juice?" The flight attendant laughed softly. "I have apple juice, orange juice, or water. What's sky-juice?" Johnny pointed out the window and said, "Well, we're swimming right through the clouds, so I figured you just squeeze one into a glass!"

During a summer family trip to a beachfront resort, Little Johnny spent the entire afternoon swimming in the large outdoor hotel pool. The pool lifeguard noticed Johnny jumping off the high diving board repeatedly, splashing everyone nearby. The lifeguard blew his whistle sharply and motioned for Johnny to come to the side of the pool. "Hey kid! No running on the deck and no cannonballs while adults are swimming!" Johnny wiped the water from his eyes and asked, "Why not? It's a pool!" The lifeguard pointed to a large metal sign mounted on the brick wall. "Because rule number three says 'No excessive splashing allowed.' Can't you read the sign?" Johnny grinned and said, "I can read it just fine, chief! But the sign is over there on the dry wall, and I'm over here in the wet water!"

Little Johnny went on a weekend camping trip into the deep woods with his dad and uncle. As night fell, they sat around a roaring campfire telling ghost stories and roasting marshmallows. Suddenly, several bright green fireflies began buzzing around their heads in the dark. Johnny's eyes went wide with fear. He grabbed his sleeping bag and scrambled inside their canvas tent. His dad unzipped the tent flap and looked in. "Johnny, what's wrong? Why did you run inside? Fireflies can't hurt you!" Johnny peeked out from under his blanket and whimpered, "Dad! The mosquitoes out there have brought flashlights to hunt us down!"

Little Johnny was sitting in the backseat of his dad's sports car while they were driving down the interstate highway on a long road trip. His dad was paying attention to the radio and accidentally let his speed creep up to eighty-five miles per hour in a sixty-five mile zone. Red and blue lights suddenly flashed behind them. His dad pulled over to the shoulder, visibly nervous. The police officer walked up to the driver's window and asked for his license and registration. "Do you know how fast you were going back there, sir?" the officer asked strictly. Before the dad could answer, Little Johnny leaned between the front seats and blurted out, "He was going super fast, officer! He told mom he was trying to outrun the gas gauge!"