Sci Fi & Geek Collection 8

Top Ten Scenes Taken Out of The Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition 10. Tauntaun and Hoth Wampa rendition of The Ice Capades. 9. Luke, Obi-Wan, C3PO, R2-D2, and the Jawas singing "Follow The Yellow Brick Road." 8. The Modal Nodes replaced in the Mos Eisley Cantina with GWAR. 7. Englebert Humperdink singing with The Max Rebo Band. (maybe he got fed to the Rancor?) 6. Eric Estrada and Larry Wilcox as a couple more Biker Scouts in ROTJ. (this is CHIPS for those who don't remember that far back in the '80's) 5. Snowball fight amongst the Rebels on Hoth. 4. Spaceball I making a cameo appearance amongst the Imperial Fleet. 3. Grand Moff Tarkin hosting a poker game on the Death Star. 2. Bob Denver aka Gilligan as the second in command of the Executor. 1. Instead of letting of fireworks, the X-Wings in ROTJ decide to strafe the living hell out of the Ewok village.

10. His action figure kicks butt. 9. Two words: live lunch. 8. His ship, "The Hound's Tooth," has bitchin' flame decals and fuzzy dice. 7. It's easier to give someone the middle finger since he's only got three fingers. 6. He's the only bounty hunter with built-in snakeskin. 5. His bloddshot eyes are from constant partying. 4. He's nice to his mother. 3. He had the nerve to threaten an Imperial admiral on the Empire's flagship. 2. He skins Wookiees. 'Nuff said. 1. Can eat his own weight in Ewoks.

Top Ten Things Samuel L. Jackson Should Have Said in the Star Wars Prequel Note: In case you didn't know, Samuel L. Jackson was in the first prequel as "Jedi Master Mace Windu" 10. You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't the motherfuckin' droids you're looking for. 9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause I'd never touch the filthy motherfucker. 8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherfuckin' stormtrooper in the room ... accept no substitutes. 7. If Obi-Wan ain't home then I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do. I ain't got no other connections on Tatooine. 6. Feel the Force, Motherfucker. 5. 'What' ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on 'What'? 4. You sendin' the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that's all you had to say! 3. Yeah, Chewie's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a Wookie. 2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch? Then why are you tryin' to fuck him like one? 1. Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, 'Bad Ass Mother Fucker.'

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father and son chats... lightsabers drawn and sparks flying. Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, "I know what you're getting for Christmas, Luke," he said, "Ohhh, yes! I know!" Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platfrom just out of Vader's reach, "How do you know!?" Luke yelled at him, "How do you know what I'm getting for Christmas!?" Darth Vader shot Luke an icy glare, "The force is with me... I felt your presents."

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi Knight If... You ever uttered the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. At least one wing of your X-wing is primer colored. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. You describe the taste of an Ewok as "jus' like chicken." You have ever had a B-wing up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on planet Dagobah is "them dadgum skeeters." Wookies are offended by your B.O. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you wouldn't have to wait for a commercial. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot!" You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. You have a confederate flag painted on your flight helmet. You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. You kinda think that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire "them damn Yankees." You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. In your opinion, that Cee-Threepio fellow "just ain't right." You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a Lazy-Boy recliner. The REAL reason you got into a fight in the cantina was because you ordered Bud Light...and they didn't have it. You knew Princess Leia was your sister all along.

A NEW HOPE

'She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.' 'Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!' 'Look at the size of that thing!' 'Sorry about the mess...' 'You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.' 'Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?' 'You've got something jammed in here real good.' 'Put that thing away before you get us all killed.' 'Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?' 'Get in there, you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!' 'She's fast enough for you, old man.'

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

'I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?' 'That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while.' 'Hurry up, golden-rod..' 'I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.' 'There's an awful lot of moisture in here.' 'Possible, he came through the south entrance.' 'But now we must eat, Come...good food, come...' 'Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?' 'And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.' 'Control, control, you must learn control!'

RETURN OF THE JEDI

'There is good in him, I've felt it.' 'Hey Luke, thanks for coming after me, now I owe you one.' 'You're a jittery little thing aren't you?' 'In time you will call me master.' 'A little higher, just a little higher.' 'I never knew I had it in me.' 'Grab it, almost..you almost got it. Gently now, alright, easy, easy...' 'Hey, point that thing someplace else!' 'What could possibly have come over Master Luke?' 'Back door, huh? Good idea!'